Managing That Hair
by Rexan
Summary: Teen!Severus is put off after Sirius comments on his oily hair. The solution to making his hair better? A Potion, of course! - One shot.


_Please please please please correct my summary-stuffs and story info if it's all weird; I haven't been on fanfiction in a while, so my knowledge of abbreviations is ridonkulously rusty. Also, I'm a bit clueless on the HP fandom since the last time I read one of the books all the way through was about five years ago with _Deathly Hallows_' release._

_So, Toten, this for you. I know it's incredibly lengthy - and probably a great deal boring - but I've put a lot of effort and editing and re-editing into it (feedback and a great amount on proofreading scribbles from two people) so I hope you'll like it. :D Hope I didn't take too long to finish. ^^;_

_And, hey, Toten, thanks for getting me to write again! I forgot how much fun it is!_

* * *

"Well, judging from the way the stirring rod hopped away," Severus says, "you didn't add all the Dingo Root. Maybe a piece fell off the table and you didn't pih—"

"Oh, yeah, that's what happened! Thanks, Severus." Lily stands up from her desk.

Severus gathers his books and scrolls, stuffs them into his satchel and follows her out of the Potions room.

Severus considers himself lucky he has freetime after Potions and starts walking with Lily to her next class. However, just a minute later, Sirius joins them. He says, "Lily, why're you hanging out with Oily Slimeball?"

Severus's fists clench.

"_Sirius,"_ Lily hisses and gives Sirius a sharp shove. Severus decides to go to the library. He turns around and walks the other way.

Severus hears Lily behind him say, "What? No, Severus, you don't—" He turns a corner in the opposite direction.

—

That night, Severus keeps running his fingers through his hair while working on homework. It never occurred to him that his hair is slimy or oily. His hair isn't that oily_._ At least, not that much. He knows Sirius wasn't talking about his face, yeah; he doesn't even have acne yet. There must be a Potion that only has to be used once to keep hair clean, Severus reasons. And Slughorn likes him enough to let him use some ingredients from the store for experimenting with new techniques, so getting materials shouldn't be a problem…

A dorm partner storms into the room and yell obscenities over his shoulder. He slams the door, stomps to his bed, and mumbles, "Those stupid idiots thinking they're so…" He dumps his satchel's books and scrolls all over the floor. "I can't believe they—" He looks up and sees Severus staring at him (who quickly looks away) and jolts, "I didn't know anyone was in here."

Severus works on his homework like he'd never been bothered.

"Nutcase, what's up?"

Severus shrugs, continues writing.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk." Glaring at no one, the boy plops onto his bed and punches his pillow to fluff it. He lifts his pillow behind his head to get ready to sleep.

Severus takes a deep breath and asks, "Klahnjy?"

Klahnjy grunts, "Hm."

"How do you keep your hair clean?"

"Wait, what?" Klahnjy turns and looks at Severus. "Why d'you suddenly care?"

Severus sinks behind his papers. "Neh—Nevermind."

"No, hey, uh…" All menace and frustration is gone from Klahnjy's voice. "…I think I got something." He swings out of bed, crouches on the floor, and scans the mess of papers. "I think…" He looks over everything a few times then stops over an old, crushed paper. "Is this…?" He grabs it and glances at it. "Yeah, I've got these shampoo instructions. A teacher gave it to one of my friends. It's supposed to be a one-use-look-great-forever sort of thing."

"How come you haven't tried it?"

" 'Cause I forgot about it until you reminded me. Besides, you'd be less likely to mess this up. Want me to give this to you in Charms tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that would be—Wait, can I have now?"

"Sure." Klahnjy sets it back on the floor. "It's not going anywhere." He goes back to bed and rolls over.

Severus gets up and grabs the paper, returns to his bed. He scrutinizes the small paper to make sure nothing had faded away or been torn off. Satisfied, he puts it into an antique Dark Arts textbook nearby for safekeeping.

—

Next morning, Severus goes to Slughorn's classroom. While standing outside the room, Severus hears clinking, scraping, and something bubbling.

He inches open the door. "Professor Sluh—" He jerks out of the room to dodge a flying vial.

"Woah! Severus!" he hears Slughorn exclaim. "Okay, just uh, just stay out there for a minute." The clinking of glass quiets until there's only a Potion brewing. "All right, you can come in." Severus walks in and sees the desks set up for the day, lab equipment – vials included – all neatly organized on each. "Sorry about that. Now, what's going on?"

Now that he has to be blunt about the problem, Severus feels stupid. "I've, uh…" His eyebrows knit together.

"Do you need help with the assignment?"

"No, I—" He cuts himself off again. _How is it possible to talk about hair without sounding stupid? _"I need…"

Slughorn waits.

"I need—" Severus shuts his eyes as Slughorn leans in. "It's for my hair!"

"Your _hair?"_

"Yeah, I need… I… My hair's oily." Severus focuses on his robe's hem.

"So…" Slughorn's chin backs into his neck. "…what do you want _me_ to do?"

"Oh, I…" He swallows. "I've got instructions for it."

"For what, exactly?" Slughorn walks over as Severus holds out the paper.

"Here."

Slughorn grabs the paper and reads over it. "Oh. Are you saying you want to try out a Potion that works as a hair washer?"

Severus nods.

"And, you want me to…?"

"Do you have… have the ingredients?"

"Oh! Sure! Do you want to pick them up in a couple hours?"

Severus, grateful and surprised, straightens up and looks Slughorn in the eyes. "Yes, thank you."

Severus starts to leave when Slughorn says, "But, uh, I haven't seen some of these ingredients used together before. You sure you want to try this? Aaand… you gonna use this on yourself?"

"Yes and yes?" Severus turns and looks at Slughorn, now doubting himself.

"Okay." Slughorn turns around and rummages through drawers. "You're the one who's taught _me_ some Potion tricks, anyway. Oh, and be sure to ask Kettleburn for the Grungy Octogrink eggs. He's the Creature Care teacher. I heard he's going to do a unit with them."

Severus nods and leaves. In the hallway, he lets out a huge, relieved sigh.

—

After the exchange with Slughorn, it's time for breakfast and Severus heads to the Great Hall. Once breakfast is finished, he continues with his day's schedule and returns to Slughorn's room during his break.

In the empty classroom, a small pouch is sitting on top of Severus's desk with the Potion's instructions next to it. He is about to take them out of the room but changes his mind and sets them on the back counter. He's going to come back to work on it later, anyway.

—

Once his classes are over and since he'd seen Kettleburn go outside with a class that morning, Severus goes to skirt the castle's perimeter.

He is about to walk outside, reaching for the door, when it suddenly swings open. A large group of energetic students pushes their way past and Severus edges to the wall to wait for them to pass by. Then he sees Kettleburn, herding the students from behind. Severus has no idea where Kettleburn's classroom is, so he awkwardly follows behind the teacher.

Severus lets himself fall farther and farther behind as the group keeps walking. Not letting them out of sight for more than a few seconds around corners, he ends up out of breath by the time he finally notices which classroom they're going to.

He backs against a wall and picks a book out of his satchel, _So I Heard You Like the Dark Arts_, to help him waste time until the class ends.

After a few chapters, most of the students leave the room. Severus walks over and peeks in. A few stayed behind to pack up or stand in line to ask Kettleburn some questions. He enters the classroom and goes to wait behind the other students. Everyone looks at him briefly and then goes back to what they were doing.

_So much for not standing out._ He lowers his head. Checks out the floor. Focuses on the dirt between the tiles.

"Yes, and you?"

Severus pushes the dirt out with his shoe.

"Hello?"

_Why isn't the next student going? _Irritated, Severus looks up and sees there's no one waiting in front of him. He shuffles forward, feeling awkward and embarrassed.

Severus sputters, "I, um, could I…" He scratched his scalp with his knuckles. Tens of different wordings for his question run through his head. "I um-uh need…"

He hears the last student in the classroom stop what she's doing and watch with agitated curiosity. _This is why I hate people._

"Please, Professor Kettleburn, could I—" Severus notices his face is heating up and the realization obliterates every other thought.

Kettleburn leans back in his chair, sighs.

_When did I close my eyes?_ Severus opens them, three times as embarrassed compared to just five seconds ago.

"Could I, um, Octogrink eggs?"

Kettleburn leans forward, amused. "You Octogrink eggs?"

Severus looks around and shakily readjusts his satchel. He gazes around the classroom and at all the portraits of the past Creature Care teachers. Who are also staring at him, looking curious.

_The floor. The floor in this room doesn't judge._

Severus tries to talk again. "Um… I need a few Octo—" He stops talking to listen to the last student leave the room. He lets out a huge sigh and his shoulders fall back to relax. "I need some Grungy Octogrink eggs for a Potion."

"Gruh-Grungy Octogrink eggs?" Kettleburn leans back again, but now perplexed. "Why?"

"Oh, it's…" _Not this again._ "It's… extra credit?"

"Is that a question?"

"No." Severus tries to steel his story. "It's extra credit for advanced students and I'm the only one who wanted to do it."

"_Yeah,_ I have some Octogrink eggs. But why would an advanced student want extra credit?"

"Slughorn needs the Potion and it's difficult and the extra credit is pretty much a bribe."

"Ah. Well, how many do you need?"

"Three."

"How about I give you a fourth and you raise it, Advanced Student?"

"Why?"

"They're rare," Kettleburn says, blunt.

Severus keeps looking at him and waits for more of an answer.

"And I only have ten. Two for my own demonstrating, one for each of my eight classes. If I can do the unit with half the classes now and the other half later, I'm fine. Just make sure you read up on Octogrinks before putting the last one in water. They don't start gestating until they come into contact with it."

Severus smiles. "So, can you go get them now?"

Kettleburn stands up with a grunt. "Yeah. Sure. Stay here." He leaves the classroom. Severus ignores the portraits sharing gossip about him and bunts more dirt out from between the tiles.

Kettleburn comes back into the classroom in a few minutes, holding a capped jar with four orange marbles rolling around in it. "Here's the eggs." He _clack_s the jar onto his desk_._

Severus reaches for it but Kettleburn keeps his hand on the jar. Severus's heart pounds and he looks at Kettleburn.

Kettleburn says, "Advanced Student?"

"Yes?"

"Don't lie to a teacher."

Severus flinches and asks, "Are these Octogrink eggs?"

Kettleburn grins, genuine friendliness, and says, "I promise you, they are. I'm just saying good luck with your shampoo and I don't like students lying to me."

"Yeh-Yes, Professor." Severus grabs the jar and hurries out of the room.

—

Severus goes downstairs to Slughorn's room and opens the door.

Thirty students inside turn to look at him.

He quickly shuts the door and his heart patters away. He decides to just stay outside the room until the class is over – he needs to talk to Slughorn again – and again takes out _So I Heard You Like the Dark Arts_.

After absorbing at least 30 new spells, the door opens and students pour out. Severus waits longer, skims to get just one more spell, and walks in. "Professor Slughorn?"

"Oh. Yes, Severus?" Slughorn packs up a couple piles of papers to read over elsewhere.

"Could I start the Potion at eight tomorrow morning?"

"Why eight?"

"If I can get everything else together by then, I'd have to come in at five tomorrow to add the eggs. Thehhhn the Potion has to brew for a day which means it would be done around five on Sunday."

"Uh, oh. Oh-Okay!" Slughorn seems surprised by Severus's prepared calculations. "Sure, yeah, I'll be here by eight. No problem."

"Oh." Severus blinks. "Thanks."

Slughorn nods and turns back to packing.

—

The next morning, Severus again walks into Slughorn's classroom first thing. Slughorn, sitting behind his desk and reading a book, looks up, nods, and goes back to reading.

Severus heads over to the back counter. He sets his satchel down and picks up the pouch and carefully pours everything in it onto the counter. Labeled jars with liquids and powders roll out and out slips everything else. Then he gathers all the supplies he'll need: a cauldron that holds one and a half liters, ladle, mortar and pestle, scalpel, and stand to set the cauldron on above a flame.

Severus puts the cauldron on the stand and starts preparing the ingredients.

He knows twisting apart the Gregarious Almonds releases more of their juice than slicing them. He knows that cutting a hole in the top of the Slimy Square prepares it for the shock of being submerged. He knows that removing the stem from the top of the Bland and Blighted Balloons keeps them from popping when they're supposed to melt.

Every ingredient has some sort of technique to improve its volatility, and Severus doesn't skimp. After all his small changes, he slides everything into the cauldron and adds a fifth a liter of hot water. He swirls everything together and says, "Professor? Could you start a fire for me in a moment?" He looks backward to make sure Slughorn heard.

Slughorn is nodding, still mostly lost in his book.

Severus swirls the Potion for another seventeen seconds, makes sure the powders are dissolved. Then, "Professor, could you…?"

Slughorn looks to the side of his desk where his wand is, picks up the wand, and points it at Severus. Underneath the cauldron, a small flame sprouts. Severus nods and takes the ladle out of the Potion. He gives the ladle a couple hard shakes above the cauldron. Looks at the clock and memorizes the time. He asks, "So you'll be around at five tonight?"

Slughorn sets his wand back down. "Don't see why not. Now just don't _you _forget to come in, all right, Snape?"

"Yes, Professor." Severus rinses off the ladle, cleans off the mortar and pestle, and wipes the scalpel. He places the ladle next to the Potion, before putting the other things away, and pushes all the empty jars aside. Severus picks up his satchel and leaves.

—

Breakfast, then more uneventful classes. The only notable thing, Severus thinks, is how Slughorn lied about "the cauldron back there" that "you're not going to mess with because it's an experiment I'm working on." Said he had put a beard growing curse on it and the jar, with the orange marble inside, next to it that will affect anyone who tries tampering with it.

No one went near them.

Now it's 4:50, though, and Severus is hurrying downstairs from the library after losing an assignment and searching for it for a ridiculous 20 minutes.

Severus bangs open the Potions door and tries to get a good breath. He glances up at the clock.

4:56.

Good. Still time to wait. Can't add the eggs early, though. Only careless Potion-makers do that.

Severus anxiously works on homework, more watching the clock than working.

5:01.

Okay. Time to open the jar. The Potion's flame started at 8:03:24… Need to be exact about this.

Three eggs are out of the jar and sit in Severus's palm, away from the cauldron in case his hand tips too much.

5:03:22…

Go.

Severus slopes his hand toward the cauldron. The solid eggs roll into the Potion with gentle plops. It changes from a dull grey to bright yellow. Severus picks up the ladle and stirs the Potion a bit, making the thick liquid swirl.

He collects his stuff and goes back to the library, ready for some quiet Friday reading.

—

Next morning Saturday, the dorm room door slams open and a group of fifth and fourth years come in, headed by a boy who looks almost like an older Klahnjy. They head over to Klahnjy's bed and pull him out. Klahnjy flails his way down and thuds to the floor. The whole group wrestles.

It takes a few minutes, but they start laughing and leave when just about everyone else in the room is yelling at them.

After they're out of the room, Severus sits up and groans, not looking forward to a Saturday filled with nothing. There's the Potion, only that's at five and, even then, it's only a moment of excitement.

So, library it is.

—

Severus plows through seven books: finishes the ones he'd been lugging around all week and his textbooks. Once he's finished, he looks out the window and sees it's about noon and turns to the clock. He has to blink several times and stare for his eyes to adjust.

2:00.

He drops his head onto the table. A nap, maybe? He puts a small Charm on a pen to tap him in two hours.

—

4 o' clock. Severus grabs the floating pen away from his head. It doesn't want to stop tapping him until he stands up, so he does. The pen hovers for a moment to make sure he doesn't sit again, and then flies into his satchel.

Severus cracks his neck and sends a knot of fire down the side of it. A two hour nap at a library table wasn't such a good idea. It left his mind foggy and gave him a sore neck. He rubs his eyes and slouches off to Slughorn's.

—

4:13, four-shmirteen. Severus lets out a puff of air. At least he's nearly done with the Potion. He goes to the back counter and opens the jar with the final egg in it. Then he opens one of the much smaller jars that had been holding some powder. He tips the egg into his hand, then rolls it into the angled smaller jar he's holding in the other. He closes the jar and sets it on his desk and drops the rest of his stuff around it.

He takes out a scroll to write down everything he just read in the library. Not that he has to but because he doesn't know what to do for the next 50 minutes. He takes an ink pot, pen, and three empty scrolls out of his satchel, places them on the desk, and starts writing.

4:50, a scroll is filled. Severus puts it to the side and grabs another one.

4:59. Time to get a flame snuffer. He goes over to a supplies drawer and takes one out, goes over the to Potion. Watches time tick away. Tranquilly listens to the Potion bubble and spin.

5:02.

5:03… Just about there…

5:03:21… Severus reaches under the cauldron and puts the snuffer over the flame. Wisps of smoke curl out from under the sides. He puts the snuffer off to the side.

The Potion changes from yellow to orange to dull brown. Perfect. Just as predicted, given the mix.

20 minute cool down…

Severus puts away the snuffer and takes out some tongs for the cauldron. He goes back over to the desk to write more notes.

—

Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

The only place Severus knows that has a mirror and almost complete privacy.

The Potion after sitting the 20 minutes had turned incredibly thick and taken a while to pour out of the cauldron. It is also now a disgusting brown green.

Severus, again, doubts himself.

As he walks in, Myrtle notices she has company. She swoops over and starts jabbering away, but Severus blocks her out after catching the description of the Potion "diarrhea mud." As Severus silently lets some of the sluggish Potion slide into his hand, Myrtle realizes she won't have an enjoyable conversation or audience and sulks off.

Severus sighs and runs the dense blob under warm water.

Blob liquefies. It almost leaves his hand and falls into the sink. He rushes his hand to his hair and spreads the Potion around. He's surprised at how quickly it dries up. He adds palm-full after palm-full until the whole Potion is gone.

With weak hopes that it is a quick-acting Potion, Severus bends toward the mirror.

He double takes away. Then steps in closer.

His _hair_.

It's all… shiny and… Severus brushes a hand over his hair. And soft! He inclines his head toward the mirror to look at where his hair parts, infamous for always being the most oily.

Clean and glossy.

Severus closes the empty jar and puts it away in his satchel. Cheerful. Now he only needs to wait and see if his hair will stay like that.

—

Sunday morning. Time to look in a mirro—

A severe headache constricts his head. Severus throws himself back down into his bed. Each bounce from the mattress makes his head throb like his cheeks are trying to kick each other and his forehead is punching his brain. Tendrils of pain crawl and wave down his face and squeeze.

_There was something wrong with the Potion._

Severus throws away his covers and runs out of the room to the Slytherin boys' common room mirror. His vision blurs from the pain and he bends his head to check his hair. Only thing out of the ordinary is its cleanliness. Yet his head is still under the force of an invisible vice. Or seven. Eight vices? No matter, his head hurts. Badly.

Severus grips his head as a temporary massage and then rubs his knuckles into his cheeks to placate the throbbing. It seems to weaken.

He seems to be first up, he notices. No one else is sitting or walking arou—Oh, nope. Here comes a fifth year. The fifth year stares at him. Severus looks to the kid's right to not look directly at him but still keep him in vision – just to check if he actually is staring and Severus and not the mirror.

Definitely not the mirror; he's focusing on Severus. And he looks fuddled.

Severus looks away, ashamed and dismayed. His oily hair was an important part of his identity. That's just wrong.

Not up to doing anything for the day with his migraine, Severus heads to the bathroom – doesn't want to have to make another trip later – and goes back to the bedroom. As he enters the room again, he sees some boys stirring to get up and heads to his own bed. One student looks directly at him and gets the same expression the fifth year in the commons did: shocked confusion.

Severus crawls into bed, going over the Potion's instructions in his head. _It was all harmless stuff I put in there. Healing and health freak stuff. Am I really just sick?_ He eventually falls asleep and stays in bed the rest of the day.

—

Monday morning, and Severus stays lying in bed and just opens his eyes.

No headache. Just fine. Relieved, Severus smiles and sits up.

And, it starts again. He grimaces and bends over, clutching his head.

The bedroom door slowly opens. The fifth and fourth years from the wrestling match on Saturday sneak in and Severus hurries back down and pulls his covers over his head. He's seen another unprepared first year get pulled into one of those matches; the kid ended up with bruises just about everywhere and, somehow, a dislocated colon. He healed just fine, of course, but that doesn't mean it was painless.

Severus looks at the tiny cotton fluffballs clutching onto the bottom of his blanket and listens to the boys pad across the room.

His blanket is whisked away. His tight headache freezes – the vines of pain quit wriggling and tighten their grip. The boys stare down at Severus and grin. "Hey, Snape-man, how could you start a new style without us? That's not cool."

One jokes, "He's just one of the cool kids that avoids attention by pretending to be a loser."

Ouch.

"Now, where did you get all of those guys?" The second boy pats Severus's head. "I want some!"

"Hey, try to take one!" someone from the group suggests.

"Oh, okay." The boy reaches for Severus's head. Severus screws his eyes shut, and suddenly the boy is trying to rip off his scalp by tugging on his hair.

Eyes open, Severus jerks away and glowers. He glares at every kid, each of their oily faces. They still grin at him. Actually, more at right above him.

"It didn't budge. He's got a weird colony going up there."

"Oh, you're just weak," another boy says. "Let me try." He cracks his dry knuckles and steps forward.

Severus stays where he is; doesn't move. "Don't."

"You can talk now?"

Severus notices Klahnjy finally stir and sit up. He looks to his friends and says, "Why're you guys bothering Sev—" Klahnjy looks at Severus and his head falls a few inches. "Uh, Severus, you have—" Palms down, Klahnjy circles his hands all around his head. "Why d'you—You, uh…" He looks to his friends, wordless. "Is that what you, uh…?"

"He's not going to tell us where they're from," one of the boys says, unhelpful. "He's only spoken one word today."

The other first year boys stir, and some braver ones leave their beds to take a few steps toward the commotion. Most of them only crane their necks. The few who get a good look at Severus stumble back into their beds or have their jaws fall.

Klahnjy's group leaves and ignores everyone in the room but each other. Klahnjy catapults out of bed and follows the group to add to the jokes about how nerds get a head start on cool things before they're popular.

Severus's headache is nothing compared to his self-consciousness and confusion.

—

As Severus heads to Potions – for class this time – he notices everyone he passes looks at him. Some people nod at him, some smile, some just look and keep walking, and some say, "Lookin' good!" and put their hands up for a high five. He leaves them all hanging.

By the time Severus reaches Slughorn's room, he is thoroughly absorbed with watching his feet and losing himself in his head's pain.

He opens the classroom door and the unfocused babble gives him some comfort. He sees Lily scribbling down the last of her homework. He waves at her but she doesn't notice, too immersed in her work. He then sees Slughorn and gives a little smile.

Slughorn's eyes bulge and he rushes to Severus. "Severus! I'm so, so, so, so so so so so sorry! I should've seen this outcome!" He gives bewildered Severus's hair a once over and says, as an order, "Will you go into the hallway?"

Severus, wanting to say something but not knowing what, just nods.

Slughorn shuffles ahead to the door and holds it open for Severus as – finally noticing him – the students in the classroom break out into laughter and shouts of "You go, Severus!"

As Severus is walking out, Slughorn says, "Oh, you should leave your satchel inside the classroom. You don't want to get ink all over it." Severus doesn't understand, but he leaves his satchel inside the classroom by the door.

In the hallway, some students are still walking around and a few snicker but mostly there's smiles.

One of Slughorn's hands fidgets like mad, the other a fist. "I shouldn't have let you—You have—There's—I'm sorry I—Severus, you—" Slughorn takes a deep breath. "Severus, you haven't touched the Octogrinks with your bare hands, have y—_But they're all over your head!"_

Severus's hand starts to go up to his pained head but stops halfway. "The Octogrinks…?"

"Severus, have you read up on Octogrinks?"

"I—No?"

"Stay here." Slughorn enters the classroom and comes out a minute later wearing floral oven mitts and carrying an aquarium with a pitcher of water inside. The aquarium has several small towels draped over a side.

As Slughorn comes back out, Severus hears a bunch of disappointed students moaning, "Awww…" and, "Come on, Professor."

Slughorn pulls the door closed behind him and says, "You should close your eyes."

Severus shuts his eyes.

"Tighter." Severus squeezes them shut so tight there are splotches of blue and flashes of white in his vision. Severus focuses on the blue floating through the darkness. When he hears Slughorn mumble, "Okay…" Severus turns his head away slightly to brace himself.

Severus's scalp is torn off.

He screams.

Warmth swarms down his face and rivulets of blood drip over his eyes.

"JEEZ, Severus! Are you okay!?" Severus hears Slughorn, force the words through gritted teeth.

Severus makes himself stop screaming and hears the hallway and classroom are both quiet. He manages to croak out, "How much blood is there?"

"Bl—?" Slughorn's voice eases. "Severus, you're not bleeding. That's ink."

"Ee…?"

"Ink. From the Octogrink I just pulled off your head."

Severus frowns and, noticing he was about to open his eyes, scrunches his eyes shut more.

"That Potion you made was a cephalopod growth and gestation speeder."

Severus hears something splat into the aquarium. He tries to process what Slughorn just told him.

"You put baby Octogrinks on your head."

Severus's face turns into magma: bright red and unbearably hot.

Slughorn continues, "I mean, think about – brace yourself—"

Another Octogrink is torn off and another wave of warm ink meets the first. Severus screams again and then coughs out some ink. The Octogrink splats into the aquarium.

"—the ingredients you put in there." A rough towel grates across Severus's face, and then it _floff_s down into the aquarium. "I guess class will be starting late today."

Severus feels Slughorn start to pull another Octogrink, so he clenches his teeth, not wanting to scream again. The Octogrink rips off and he clenches his teeth harder.

_Shplip_ goes the Octogrink and down comes more ink. "Professor, why does…" Severus splutters away some ink around his mouth. "…why does it still feel like I've got their tentacles all over my face? They aren't veno—"

"That's because you still have six more."

"Sih—_Six?"_ Severus is careful to keep his eyes shut, ink resting on top of them. "But there were only—"

"It seems like one of the eggs had septuplets, I'm guessing."

"Uh-Of course." The last syllable ends in an unwanted whimper.

"Sorry I don't know a less—"

Severus clenches his teeth and the Octogrink pulls off like it takes half his hair with it. His heart thuds from pain and ink gets into his nostrils. He gives a rough exhale and drops of ink mist out.

"—painful way of doing this. I don't believe there is." _Sklop._

Slughorn goes on talking about whatever comes into his mind – grades, projects coming up, students – like those Muggle doctors when they give shots, and Severus keeps his teeth as tight together as he can. He shivers a few times as his body releases pain. Every two Octogrinks, a towel rakes across Severus's face, twice scoring around his nose and behind his ears.

Then: "You can open your eyes now."

Severus looks into the aquarium.

Empty. His heart jumps. "Professor Slughorn? Where'd the Octogrinks go?"

"The—" Slughorn's head bolts to look at the aquarium. He relaxes. "They're still in there. Why did you—Sorry. I forgot. Oh!" Slughorn turns toward the aquarium and bends down, picks up the pitcher. He takes the wet, blackened towels out, shaking a couple and drops them on the floor. Next he pours all the water out of the pitcher to fill up the aquarium. There's no sort of disturbances in the water, no bending around creatures. Just fills up the aquarium. "Thanks for reminding me."

Slughorn is obviously wrong about the Octogrinks being in there. "Professor, there is _nothing_ in there."

"I suppose it would look that way to you, yeah." Severus shakes his head and walks to the classroom door. Slughorn jolts and jumps over to Severus. "Um, are you sure you want to go to class today? You've got…" He points at his own face and rotates a mitted hand at his face. "…ink stains. All over your face. And neck. And—Oh. Sorry. I let it get on your robe. Um, you might be able to sell the robe for something. …Sorry." Slughorn tries to make amends. "How about I… I can get your satchel?" He shakes the stained black mitts onto the pile of towels. He opens the classroom door and grabs the satchel from around the corner. "Here you go."

"So, you want me to…?"

"Go to the hospital wing and just have a sick day. And, you should read up on Octogrinks. I'll send you a book with some spots marked so you know what to look at when class is over, okay?"

— —

**AT A GLANCE**

**CAUTION: ****Always**** wear gloves. Facial protection when working with . past 7 months.**

Life: _Wild: _86 years

_Captivity: _3 days – 170 years1

Height: 50 cm (average 26 cm)²

Length: 73 cm (average 52)³

Food: 3 kg a month of any seafood (unaffected by venom or poison)

Water: -10°C to 68°C4

1 If properly cared for, an Octogrink can easily live past 90 years.

² 50 cm is the record of the tallest recorded Octogrink.

³ Length is tentacle tip, straightened, to opposite tentacle tip, straightened. 73 cm is the record of the Octogrink with the longest known tentacles.

4 Water temperature to keep Octogrink in. No recommendation. Incredibly hardy and can hibernate in frozen water.

…were to come into contact with an Octogrink with bare skin, recipient would, given about three minutes, become unable to see any Octogrink, including almost any environmental disturbance they cause.

The reason for this is the hallucinatory nature of the Octogrink's slime. Recipient becomes unable to see any members of the Grungy family (for a list of other Grungy cephalopods, see page D26) and also perceives a positive enhancement of a physical feature of insecurity. The hallucination(s) can last anywhere from 2-4 days. Because of the latter strange side effect, if one is able to find one, Octogrinks tend to be popular…

…ink can be used as glue, concrete, or make indefinitely lasting sculptures (see chapter 9). If combined with pulverized Spotted Elfwater Kelp, it becomes a refreshing drink that can hydrate one for weeks with a single sip (see page E68 for instructions).

The ink can be sold…

Octogrinks are unbelievably stupid creatures. If they become bored, they will leave the water and possibly never go back in. They can only live two days without water, so they commonly end up killing themselves in captivity, which is why it is so difficult to raise them. Even if a lid is put on their container, they often manage to push it off or break it if they are so dissatisfied…

— —

Lying down in the hospital wing, Severus closes the book and sets it on the bedside table. He ridicules himself until he falls asleep.

—

Dinnertime in the Great Hall. Severus sits down at the table and waits for his dinner to appear. In his periphery, he notices someone take the podium and looks to the front of the room.

Dumbledore stands at the front of the large room and begins, "Ahem. Hello, yes. I would like to make…" He clears his throat. "I would like to make an announcement.

"As you all know, a student a few months ago walked through the school's halls and made a far out fashion statement."

_Oh, no. He can't be talking about…_

"This Slytherin student decided to make this statement center around a creature called the Octo…"

Severus studies the table.

"…grink." Severus feels students look at him and hears laughs spread throughout Slytherin. "It caused a great disturbance to everyone's ability to focus on their studies. I apologize for the delay, but, um, fifty points from Slytherin."

The leftover chuckles from Slytherin halt and the other houses laugh. Severus feels more people stare at him. He shrinks into his chair.

"That is all."

Severus is almost sure Dumbledore is also staring at him. He hears him step down from the podium. Then there's hesitation in Dumbledore's footsteps, and Severus looks up to see why.

Kettleburn stands in Dumbledore's way. Kettleburn says, "That's not…"

The room fills with student chatter and the conversation is drowned out but Severus keeps watching. Dumbledore politely inclines his head for a second, says something – likely being as polite as possible about asking Kettleburn to get out of his way – and goes to walk around Kettleburn. Kettleburn moves in front of Dumbledore, says something else and shakes his head. Dumbledore grins, nods, then goes to walk around Kettleburn again. Now Kettleburn looks ruffled and annoyed.

Severus tries harder to concentrate on the exchange, attempting to lip read and also ignore the students around him planning how to hide his corpse. Kettleburn looks like he shouts, "Goat burgers leap over glitter frond-figgle-bunks…"

No more lip reading.

After a couple minutes of the conversation and a minute more of Kettleburn waving his arms, Dumbledore, beaming, returns to the podium.

"Excuse me again, sorry."

The students quiet down.

"Since I have become aware of some new information – shame on you Care of Magical Creatures students for letting your Octogrinks die – Slytherin's fifty shall stay gone." Kettleburn storms to Dumbledore, stomps echoing around the Great Hall. Dumbledore puts a hand out to stop him.

"However, since this student was able to raise ten Octogrink by himself while several classes could not raise one, I am obligated to add fifteen points for each healthy and full grown Octogrink that Kettleburn released into Black Lake just this morning. Also, plus ten points for rediscovering a Potion that will very much help with academia and… cephalopod breeders, I guess." He looks at speechless Severus, maybe expecting a smile or something. He doesn't get any response and shrugs. He turns back to everyone. "Thank you for your attention."

Dumbledore nods at Kettleburn with a small smile, leaves the podium, and walks around unmoving Kettleburn, who is still trying to process what Dumbledore just said.

Severus is motionless as the Slytherin table erupts into celebratory hoots and hollers.

* * *

_Really long story, I know. Thanks for reading it, though. Please point out typos or just errors toward the HP series if you found any and please give harsh concrit if you'd like (this goes to all readers). I depended on friends' knowledge for the most part. :P_

_Again, thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed. =D_


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